Sunday, November 18, 2007

If you didn't think I was wierd before...

*Warning: this post has absolutely NOTHING to do with fabric or the store, so read at your own discretion!!!*

Hello one and all.

Am suddenly able to steal wireless from some poor, un-suspecting soul in the Mills who has no clue that they are providing me with the means to update this blog more frequently. Whomever you are, God bless you and keep up the good work!!!

So, as I was driving back from my parent's house tonight, my mind wandered to one of those subjects that I've been meaning to write about but never actually gotten around to doing. The subject? Eyebrows. (Eyebrows?!?). EYEBROWS.

Why do I want to talk about eyebrows??? Well, I'll tell you. I was having dinner with some of my friends and we got to talking about our "things." You know what I'm talking about: some people have a "thing" for a cute smile, or for feet, or for a nice tush. Well, my "thing" is eyebrows. I melt for a guy with a nice set of eyebrows: I'm talking big, huge, manly, creepy-crawly "caterpillar" eyebrows, too. Not those Adrian Brody jobbers. And then I got to thinking about all of my most favorite eyebrows and I just had to get them out of my system. Unfortunately for you, dear reader, you have to be the means by which I get these eyebrows out of my system.

So, without further adieu, I present the first ever (I believe) best eyebrows Top Ten list (Dave Letterman's shaking in his little suit, I just know it...)Here goes:

10: Jakob Dylan- lead singer of the Wallflowers, and yes, Dylan's son. Fine set of eyebrows there.

9: Benicio del Toro (Circa 1995)- Have you ever seen the movie "Excess Baggage?" I must insist that you watch it... Benicio, Christopher Walken, Harry Connick Jr. How can you go wrong? And while you're watching it, admire Benicio's lovely little slabs of gorgeous on his forehead, because they didn't last long. Sometime around the movie "Traffic" (Also a great movie), his face began to cave in. Now you'd need a St. Bernard to find those things. RIP, Benicio's eyebrows...

8: Pete Sampras (Also circa 1995)- When I lived in France, all of us kids would rush home from school in the spring to watch the French Open at Roland-Garos. Most of the kids were rushing home to watch the tennis. I was rushing home to watch Pete's eyebrows. They were (and I'm afraid I mean this pun with every ounce of my being) a "Love-ly" match. Unfortunately, none of Pete's hair is in abundance these days.

7: Humphrey Bogart- How can you not love this guy? I mean, have you seen "The African Queen?" Favorite scenes are when he was imitating a hippopotamus to impress Katherine Hepburn, and when he had to crawl out of the boat and carry the Queen through leech infested waters. When he climbed back onto the boat, he had great big leeches, which kind of look like eyebrows, crawling all over him! Way to go, Mr. Allnut!

6: Sean Connery- NOBODY, and I mean NOBODY, arches an eyebrow like Sean Connery. It's true what they say about this guy: He's just gotten better with age. His eyebrows are no exception.

5: George Clooney- Of course. George is one fine piece of man, but to me, his best feature will always be his eyebrows. They made Batman and Robin bearable.

4: Kevin Anderson- I think that's his name. Anyways, he's the "Kevin" of Backstreet Boys fame. Hey, I didn't say I liked the music... but I am totally a "fan" of his eyebrows.

3: Ice Cube- There's something about Ice Cube. "Little boy" meets "Rapper Thug" equals "Family Comedy Actor." Through it all, he's been sporting a pair of curvaceous eyebrows that are scarred just enough to hint at his bad boy past.

2: Alan Rickman- Also known as Professor Snape. If you don't believe me just go rent "Sense & Sensibility," and try not to melt as you watch his eyebrows emote so much heartbreak in Kate Winslet's direction. Interesting side note: Alan is also on my "favorite voice" list. I'll save most of it for another post, but I would literally listen to him read the phone book.

And the grand Finale:

1: Mike Lowell- World Series MVP and Boston Red Sox third baseman. Hands down the BEST eyebrows I have ever seen. If Martin Scorsese's eyebrows had a love child with Giselle Bundchen's eyebrows, the result would be Mike Lowell's eyebrows: In other words, larger than life, perfectly manicured and groomed, salt and pepper gorgeousness. And that's how I feel about THAT. Mike, you're a silver fox with those things (even though you're only 33 years old). Your old man eyebrows are like masterpieces hanging over your little boy chocolate sundae eyes, speaking of wisdom sooo beyond your years. The Florida Marlins were INSANE to give you up, and there loss was our big, bad gain. Not so much for the 2 World Series, the Golden Gloves, the team leadership, nooo, but for the brows.

Soo, that's my top ten. Thanks so much for letting me get it off my chest and I PROMISE, the next post will be fabric-y.




Unknown said...

I totally just LOL'd at you.

HotSox said...

You go girl! I, too am a fan of fabulous brows and my love also extends to our own #25! Time to celebrate another three years of Mike Lowell's gorgeous optical adornments! :)

Jeff said...

I'm just plain hurt. I kept waiting to see where I'd end up on the list. #10 would have been great,but as I kept going, my heart skipped a beat to think I'd be in the top 5, the top 3, the number 1? Alas, I'm a heartbroken shell of myself to have missed the list completely. Might as well shave 'em of.

Liz said...

Hello? Tom Selleck!! Google his image and try to contain yourselves!

(sorry, baby)

james at 10engines said...

finally someone else sees the Connery-Lowell connection...nice.